Before I Was A Mom.

I was given this poem about two weeks before I gave birth to Madeline. Tomorrow will be my first Mother's Day and I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the past three months.

In these last three months my life has changed dramatically. This little girl has become my everything. I would do anything for her, give anything for her. I want her to have the whole world and I will do everything in my power possible to make sure that she has just that-the world. She deserves to be loved and worshipped and I will make sure that she never feels anything but that.

I have big dreams for you, little one.

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Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
Or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
My plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
And my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
So doctors could do tests.Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
Watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
Having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
To feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
Between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom..

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
Before I Was a Mom.