Dear Carolyn

I just had to pass this along. It was posted on a website I frequent.

Dear Carolyn Article

Taken from the "Dear Carolyn" Opinion column in the Washington Post and others...

Why don't friends with kids have time?
by Carolyn Hax (The Washington Post)

Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, ect. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group.....OK, I've talked to parents, I don't get it. What do stay-at-home-moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions. -Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny. Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.Or, you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.It's doing all this while con-currently teaching virtually everything - language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spend all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first ten minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself. - Carolyn

4 wks.

Happy One Month Birthday Madeline Renee! <3

xo, Mommy & Daddy

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love, Madeline.

Madie Update

Madeline had a Dr's appointment today...and the Dr once again called her perfect. I think we're going to get along quite well. =]

Madie is weighing in at 9lbs, 4oz. Which is just over her birth weight, so yay!

Her eyes, ears & heart all checked out wonderfully.

Her next appointment isn't for a month...and she'll be starting her immunizations then.

Madie's First Game

Madie went to her first basketball game last night.

It was senior night and since I *was* the coach (pre-giving birth) I really wanted to be there to see my seniors cheer in their last game. =[

Oh & P.S.:

Madie now weighs a whopping 8lbs, 14oz.

And I weigh a lovely 123.6. Which means I lost 21lbs, and now weigh less than I did pre-pregnancy. Breast feeding is the best! =]

Delivery Debacle: Chapter 3

I had to go to the hospital today. I've had really high blood pressure the past few days (usually around 150+/100+). They thought maybe I had pre-eclampsia so they wanted me to get tested and have my bp monitored.

Soooo, I got sent to the hospital from my Dr's appointment today and was given a room at the Snuggery (not exactly a place I was hoping to see again any time soon). My mom & Eric left work early to come be with me. Lindsey went with my to the Dr's to sit with Madeline but needed to go to work so my mom came to deal with Madie duty.

Turns out I tested negative for pre-e. Which is really really good. But my bp is still sky high. They are hoping that it is due to my uterine problems that I am having and that it will resolve itself after my D&C tomorrow.

But for the next week I'm on bp medicine. Boo.

Wish me luck! xo.

Just a few Madie pictures...

Happy Superbowl:

More Nursery Pictures

I'm hoping that these are the last nursery pictures I will post...but I wanted to share a few things.

We added a rug:



This was painted by a friend of my brother's:



And this was painted by Madie's godmother:

Delivery Debacle: Chapter 2

Since giving birth to my king size baby (all 9lbs, 3oz of her) I've been have copious amounts of bleeding.

I was prescribed Methergin over the weekend to help my uterus contract and then had to go into the office this morning for an ultrasound.

The conclusion is that since previously mentioned baby was SO large, my uterus was over-extended...and since we c-sectioned my cervix never opened more than 1cm. So, what that means is that my cervix closed back up before my uterus had a chance to empty out and go back to it's somewhat original size.

So, Friday afternoon I will be going in for a small surgical procedure called a D&C. Which means I will get some good drugs, they will dilate me & then suction everything out of my uterus...which they think might include some remaining pieces of the placenta.

Oh, good fun.